So the concert last night was fairly awesome, to a degree. The opening band was "Final Fantasy" which I enjoyed FAR more than the Mountain Goats in that I thought it was very innovative, fantastic music, and it was something new to my ear. That is not to say I didn't positively love the goats, but Final Fantasy did something for me that night that very few other bands could really do. If you do look them up, I'll give you a little idea of what hes like. Basically he plays a melody on his violin into a sampler, which then loops that sampled part he played, and then he plays OVER that, and sings. It was extremely cool.
The Mountain Goats played a lot of cool songs off their new album, many of which I enjoyed. John is so fantastic on stage, really. I could really get romantic here about what makes him great, but I'll refrain.
I have infinite homework to get done. It kind of sucks but I guess its nice that I'm not doing *anything* on a Saturday night so I can at least get some of it done. Sub-Saharan Africa has been kicking my ass lately only because I've had difficultly finishing my papers on time mostly due to a lack of interest. Yes Lacy, I've read "Heart of Darkness", I read it four years ago, I don't want to read it again. =( One thing I've been most impressed with myself about is my attendance. I've been going to class? Wtf I know, crazy!
I don't think I'll be able to attend class next semester because of Financial Aid, I'll have to work to pay off this semester on my own (or get a little help from hollywood, which should theoretically happen) which should be just fine. Either way, school is going fine.
This girl Arielle and I have kept up the chatting, which is a good sign! I'm pretty bad at these early stages of what could become a relationship, I'm in her words "A ball of nervous energy" which describes me pretty well. I swear I read every message I send to her 10 times to make certain it is up to my inteligent standards and so forth. Sure, that makes me sound crazy, but really, I just don't want to fuck this up. The last three 'crushes' I've had I feel like I've goofed it somewhere, and ended up blaming myself. Arielle is really cool, and I'd hate to say something stupid or come off as a jerk randomly. Not that I would do either of those things, but the mind is a dangerous thing...
Anywho, I'm off for now,
-John
---
The Fuck
I drilled you like your
blood was oil. Those slender
fingers - pierce me with your
nails again.
Although I had penetrated you,
your eyes remained the same open stance.
Nothing was peaceful, it was not one of
those "emotional fucks" No,
it was less the meeting of our
eyes than the mutilation of
mechanism. The clockwork piercing
of flesh, the bleeding from my back,
the way you gasped for air guiding
my hands to your neck. This was visceral,
the dragging of my genitals through the mud;
my mind had never been so far from sex.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
I'm on my feet, Im on the floor, I'm good to go. All I need is just to hear a song I know.
The corner, the bus stop,
the place to be at ten o'clock PM
commenting on how this fair city
appeals to my sensibility of
seeing the stars.
Like penguins, in suit and tie
(in coat and scarf)
standing silent.
----
After the usual "OMG WE HAVE TO PAY RENT !@#!@DD!!!@ !GGRG@K#!!" scramble that occurs around this time of month, we are all caught up on all our bills and rent was paid fine. Tonight I have a concert to attend to, and I am oh-so excited about this one. John Darnielle, The Mountain Goats, The High Noon, oh god I feel an orgasm coming on. (Its like I slide sexual induendo in there even when I'm being blatantly sexual!)
Today was about as normal as you can imagine though, I woke up fairly late, went for a jog, gathered up some cashola for the rents, and wrote Arielle and email. Really, it doesn't get far too much more eventless than that, but hopefully this concert will make up for it! I hope he plays Gameshows Touch Our Lives, and Going to Georgia more than anything, that'd make my week for certain.
---
the place to be at ten o'clock PM
commenting on how this fair city
appeals to my sensibility of
seeing the stars.
Like penguins, in suit and tie
(in coat and scarf)
standing silent.
----
After the usual "OMG WE HAVE TO PAY RENT !@#!@DD!!!@ !GGRG@K#!!" scramble that occurs around this time of month, we are all caught up on all our bills and rent was paid fine. Tonight I have a concert to attend to, and I am oh-so excited about this one. John Darnielle, The Mountain Goats, The High Noon, oh god I feel an orgasm coming on. (Its like I slide sexual induendo in there even when I'm being blatantly sexual!)
Today was about as normal as you can imagine though, I woke up fairly late, went for a jog, gathered up some cashola for the rents, and wrote Arielle and email. Really, it doesn't get far too much more eventless than that, but hopefully this concert will make up for it! I hope he plays Gameshows Touch Our Lives, and Going to Georgia more than anything, that'd make my week for certain.
---
I've never seen such a beautiful beautician.
Today was...awesome.
So I woke up, did the whole class thing, slept, and then met up with a girl whom I had met online. Her name is Arielle (R-E-L to say, not like the little mermaid.) and let me tell you, it was fantastic meeting her.
She gave me her phone number via email, and at around 2:30 I was on the bus headed downtown to meet her. I called her up and said we should meet outside the museum on statestreet, we did, and I sheepishly presented myself (wearing only the finest of attire) and offered to shake her hand. Since we were downtown we walked around and introduced ourselves inside the art museum, which was very fun. I told her about how I'm a magic player and I do a lot of traveling, and that I'm a writer and whatnot. She told me about opera, and we commented on the art. It was just fine.
Then we had plans to go back to my place to watch a movie. We caught the four just in time to be completely bombarded by high school kids, which brought on some fun talk of our high school days. Turns out she is from the same area of chicago that I grew up in (northwest suburbs) and we were both familar with the areas we formerly lived in. We arrived promtly at my house, where I gave George his buspass and introduced him to Arielle. The house was empty, and I turned on some tunage and we passed about an hour just talking about whatever. Interestingly enough we never ran out of things to talk about, and she comes off as very inteligent, but in a very quirky way. Her hair is short (and when I say short, I mean short) which I like a ton, and she smiled a lot, it was nice.
So we sat around and talked as I mentioned, then we threw in "The Matrix" on my brother's PS2 and we spent most of the first fifty or so minutes continuing our talking from before, and after that we did some cuddling and watched with some meager comments here and there about the amazingness of the movie's structure. We both had awesome things to say about the movie itself (structure, plot, developement, etc) which made for very interesting conversation. Afterwards, I noted that her bus wasn't coming for about forty minutes, so...I kissed her? Yes, I'm not one to do such rash things, really, its not really 'me' per se to be so agressive, but I had a gut feeling that things were going so well, even if she wasn't cool with it things would blow over fine, plus I'm totally suave when presenting such ideas (kissing and so forth) I basically referenced a discussion I had had with my Australian mate Bradley regarding kissing on the first date, and when its apropriet. I personally felt like the first date kiss was a thing that wasn't really going to happen all to often, but he said if a girl is coming over to your house you should certainly go for it if things are going well. I asked her for her opinion on the matter, she said something to the effect of 'depends on the girl' which I took as a green light, and jammed it. We talked for a while longer, I walked her to the bus, we kissed, and done. Amazing night ;)
Afterwards I was kind of adrenalined out (so much nerve usage...) so I took a small nap before Kalen texted me saying we were going to watch dexter and have a few drinks over at his place. Thirty minutes and a couple mohitos later I was having a blast and hanging out with friends. I can't say I've been more pleased with a day in a long, long time.
Tomorrow I have a concert with Katrina to go to - The Mountain Goats! I'm so thrilled to be able to see him again, that man, John Darnielle, how impressive can one person be. A far better poet that myself he is! (And Yoda, I am?)
Side note to long time readers of my blogs - I've set to invisable a lot of previous blog entries. I've been meeting a lot of people lately, and a lot of people have access to my blog. I figure that it is better than I tell them darker things about my best, my feelings and my general emo'ness personally, rather than have them read it in its irrational distrought in poetic verse. Its not a matter of embaressment really, more a matter of wanting information to be provided as I see fit, not as much as one is inclined to read.
That wraps up one hell of a blog entry. Good luck to my friend Adrian Sullivan who is having surgery tomorrow (though I don't know for what) you'll be fine buddy!
-John
So I woke up, did the whole class thing, slept, and then met up with a girl whom I had met online. Her name is Arielle (R-E-L to say, not like the little mermaid.) and let me tell you, it was fantastic meeting her.
She gave me her phone number via email, and at around 2:30 I was on the bus headed downtown to meet her. I called her up and said we should meet outside the museum on statestreet, we did, and I sheepishly presented myself (wearing only the finest of attire) and offered to shake her hand. Since we were downtown we walked around and introduced ourselves inside the art museum, which was very fun. I told her about how I'm a magic player and I do a lot of traveling, and that I'm a writer and whatnot. She told me about opera, and we commented on the art. It was just fine.
Then we had plans to go back to my place to watch a movie. We caught the four just in time to be completely bombarded by high school kids, which brought on some fun talk of our high school days. Turns out she is from the same area of chicago that I grew up in (northwest suburbs) and we were both familar with the areas we formerly lived in. We arrived promtly at my house, where I gave George his buspass and introduced him to Arielle. The house was empty, and I turned on some tunage and we passed about an hour just talking about whatever. Interestingly enough we never ran out of things to talk about, and she comes off as very inteligent, but in a very quirky way. Her hair is short (and when I say short, I mean short) which I like a ton, and she smiled a lot, it was nice.
So we sat around and talked as I mentioned, then we threw in "The Matrix" on my brother's PS2 and we spent most of the first fifty or so minutes continuing our talking from before, and after that we did some cuddling and watched with some meager comments here and there about the amazingness of the movie's structure. We both had awesome things to say about the movie itself (structure, plot, developement, etc) which made for very interesting conversation. Afterwards, I noted that her bus wasn't coming for about forty minutes, so...I kissed her? Yes, I'm not one to do such rash things, really, its not really 'me' per se to be so agressive, but I had a gut feeling that things were going so well, even if she wasn't cool with it things would blow over fine, plus I'm totally suave when presenting such ideas (kissing and so forth) I basically referenced a discussion I had had with my Australian mate Bradley regarding kissing on the first date, and when its apropriet. I personally felt like the first date kiss was a thing that wasn't really going to happen all to often, but he said if a girl is coming over to your house you should certainly go for it if things are going well. I asked her for her opinion on the matter, she said something to the effect of 'depends on the girl' which I took as a green light, and jammed it. We talked for a while longer, I walked her to the bus, we kissed, and done. Amazing night ;)
Afterwards I was kind of adrenalined out (so much nerve usage...) so I took a small nap before Kalen texted me saying we were going to watch dexter and have a few drinks over at his place. Thirty minutes and a couple mohitos later I was having a blast and hanging out with friends. I can't say I've been more pleased with a day in a long, long time.
Tomorrow I have a concert with Katrina to go to - The Mountain Goats! I'm so thrilled to be able to see him again, that man, John Darnielle, how impressive can one person be. A far better poet that myself he is! (And Yoda, I am?)
Side note to long time readers of my blogs - I've set to invisable a lot of previous blog entries. I've been meeting a lot of people lately, and a lot of people have access to my blog. I figure that it is better than I tell them darker things about my best, my feelings and my general emo'ness personally, rather than have them read it in its irrational distrought in poetic verse. Its not a matter of embaressment really, more a matter of wanting information to be provided as I see fit, not as much as one is inclined to read.
That wraps up one hell of a blog entry. Good luck to my friend Adrian Sullivan who is having surgery tomorrow (though I don't know for what) you'll be fine buddy!
-John
Sunday, November 1, 2009
All expectations just surgically take what's theirs and vanish.
There is one person, on a website in which I submit poetry to who always comes back with the most amazing reviews. I read them, and my heart leaps, its like he knows what I'm saying, he GETS the content of my work, he knows when I'm not writing from personal experience, and he knows when I am, and when I am not he tells me about what its like. He is near 60 it seems, quite an older fellow. His review of my poem today, was staggering.
"If you could change the gender of the protagonist, you'd have my last days with my Dad. It didn't help that I was a wimp, unable to look at needle -going in, coming out, docile... So I kept his blanket up a lot and lied to myself. I knew I only had to lie for under two weeks. It lasted six days.
He smoked too much.
The second verse had that humorous red-herring feel that the staff felt necessary to heave my way, but it never fit. Bless them for trying. My assumption is that none of them had to bury a parent yet.
"....watching the tubes like roadways puncture into the concrete of her skin..." was quite a turn of a phrase that was not overkill, yet brought a point home solidly, and with your autograph as did "...pixelated tan Savannah - her skin...": Both are satisfying morsels of information around a topic where a dissatisfying situation lords over every aspect.
Under the law that states that morose topics can, and often do make fine reading, this one is a stellar example. "
I felt great about his comments on my work, really great. I always make sure to write him back and let him know how much I apreciate it.
This is a poem written by him, Paul W. Murray
"Hello again Paul, nice to see more work of yours here. I haven't been reviewing/posting much because of some real-life stress, oddly enough, it shares much with your piece. I just got out of a two and a half year relationship, she fell out of love, as she says. When reading this I wondered if that is what she felt like. I hope that is what it felt like to her, rather than just so plain as one would imagine it.
Days blossoming into expectations is probably the most accurate thing that is said in your poem. Yes its fair that by anyone's telling you can spend your afternoon strolling in a museum with that other whom you find so significant, with her only dreaming of wedding bands and candlelit dinners. It is so easy to look to the future when the present is so beautiful, and vise-versa when you are staring down loneliness in the face.
If expectations were anything, they would be the grim reaper, stealing away your preconceived notions of whats to come. This is detailed amazingly here, and I appreciate the writing. "
Sorry if that bit was boring, I just wanted to put into the permanency of the internet how much I appreciate his work, and why.
Today was...boring. I am going to see the Meat Flower with Katrina tomorrow.
"If you could change the gender of the protagonist, you'd have my last days with my Dad. It didn't help that I was a wimp, unable to look at needle -going in, coming out, docile... So I kept his blanket up a lot and lied to myself. I knew I only had to lie for under two weeks. It lasted six days.
He smoked too much.
The second verse had that humorous red-herring feel that the staff felt necessary to heave my way, but it never fit. Bless them for trying. My assumption is that none of them had to bury a parent yet.
"....watching the tubes like roadways puncture into the concrete of her skin..." was quite a turn of a phrase that was not overkill, yet brought a point home solidly, and with your autograph as did "...pixelated tan Savannah - her skin...": Both are satisfying morsels of information around a topic where a dissatisfying situation lords over every aspect.
Under the law that states that morose topics can, and often do make fine reading, this one is a stellar example. "
I felt great about his comments on my work, really great. I always make sure to write him back and let him know how much I apreciate it.
This is a poem written by him, Paul W. Murray
falling out-of-love is different
It's so easy to feel,
when falling in love,
how days blossom fully
into lush expectations.
But the feel of falling
out-of-love never
tints anyone's
expectations dark, no,
all expectations
just surgically
take what's theirs
and vanish.
"Hello again Paul, nice to see more work of yours here. I haven't been reviewing/posting much because of some real-life stress, oddly enough, it shares much with your piece. I just got out of a two and a half year relationship, she fell out of love, as she says. When reading this I wondered if that is what she felt like. I hope that is what it felt like to her, rather than just so plain as one would imagine it.
Days blossoming into expectations is probably the most accurate thing that is said in your poem. Yes its fair that by anyone's telling you can spend your afternoon strolling in a museum with that other whom you find so significant, with her only dreaming of wedding bands and candlelit dinners. It is so easy to look to the future when the present is so beautiful, and vise-versa when you are staring down loneliness in the face.
If expectations were anything, they would be the grim reaper, stealing away your preconceived notions of whats to come. This is detailed amazingly here, and I appreciate the writing. "
Sorry if that bit was boring, I just wanted to put into the permanency of the internet how much I appreciate his work, and why.
Today was...boring. I am going to see the Meat Flower with Katrina tomorrow.
It rains on the city traffic puzzle - shifting pieces like my stomache were both so upset~
I'm rarely really 'excited' for anything these days. Sure, I often find myself heavily anticipating something as simple as a Magic event, but most often than not, I'm just going through life, waiting for my big break (well, waiting for the repercussions of my big break, as I've already had it) or just sort of taking everything day by day. Really, I've often found that the things that excite me the most, are often the most irresponsible, or spontaneous things about.
In this particular case, I've met a girl, named Arielle. She seems absolutely fantastic, let me tell you a few things about her. She is a Junior at UW Madison, a Vocal Performance major (wow!) who sings in operas and the like at the UW, which seems absolutely fantastic. She likes writing creative fiction, and generally seems very intelligent. I have a date with her on thursday, and we plan to watch some horror films together. It is a genre of which I do not particularly enjoy (as my close friends can attest to, looking at you Nicole and Madison) but it should be fun. Its interesting that our first date will most likely be at one of our apartments, usually you go out to a nuetral environment, but I'm not against this.
Suffice to say, Im very excited.
We have to pay rent on Friday, and I don't know if Madison and I can afford the GP. I really, REALLY want to go, I feel like I have such a solid understanding of this format, and that I WILL do well at this event, if I can go. I'm getting my paycheck from Chedy for 75$ (three articles) and I don't really know if that will get me there alone. We'll have to see how things pan out, regardless, I wouldn't want to go if it meant leaving Madison behind as well. That would be really unfair to him.
Im happy that some people have attained some enjoyment from reading my blog. I never intended this space to really be more than a public expression of my personal thoughts, but a lot of people have mentioned how much they enjoy reading about the day to day life of a total bum. Thanks to all of you, I really apreciate it.
--------
The Meat Flower
It was the one time, the
'once and a while'
when the meat flower bloomed.
She had told me how much
she wanted to gaze upon the meat
flower, the corpse stench
hanging off each leaf, the thick
ominous stem shooting up from
the ground. I thought to myself
in those days that there
is nothing I'd rather do
than smell the rotting
flesh of the meat flower -
with her hand
in mine.
There is nothing
more factual to me
now than the smell of
rotting meat.
In this particular case, I've met a girl, named Arielle. She seems absolutely fantastic, let me tell you a few things about her. She is a Junior at UW Madison, a Vocal Performance major (wow!) who sings in operas and the like at the UW, which seems absolutely fantastic. She likes writing creative fiction, and generally seems very intelligent. I have a date with her on thursday, and we plan to watch some horror films together. It is a genre of which I do not particularly enjoy (as my close friends can attest to, looking at you Nicole and Madison) but it should be fun. Its interesting that our first date will most likely be at one of our apartments, usually you go out to a nuetral environment, but I'm not against this.
Suffice to say, Im very excited.
We have to pay rent on Friday, and I don't know if Madison and I can afford the GP. I really, REALLY want to go, I feel like I have such a solid understanding of this format, and that I WILL do well at this event, if I can go. I'm getting my paycheck from Chedy for 75$ (three articles) and I don't really know if that will get me there alone. We'll have to see how things pan out, regardless, I wouldn't want to go if it meant leaving Madison behind as well. That would be really unfair to him.
Im happy that some people have attained some enjoyment from reading my blog. I never intended this space to really be more than a public expression of my personal thoughts, but a lot of people have mentioned how much they enjoy reading about the day to day life of a total bum. Thanks to all of you, I really apreciate it.
--------
The Meat Flower
It was the one time, the
'once and a while'
when the meat flower bloomed.
She had told me how much
she wanted to gaze upon the meat
flower, the corpse stench
hanging off each leaf, the thick
ominous stem shooting up from
the ground. I thought to myself
in those days that there
is nothing I'd rather do
than smell the rotting
flesh of the meat flower -
with her hand
in mine.
There is nothing
more factual to me
now than the smell of
rotting meat.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
