And I am placing fingers in the notches of your spine~

So the concert last night was fairly awesome, to a degree. The opening band was "Final Fantasy" which I enjoyed FAR more than the Mountain Goats in that I thought it was very innovative, fantastic music, and it was something new to my ear. That is not to say I didn't positively love the goats, but Final Fantasy did something for me that night that very few other bands could really do. If you do look them up, I'll give you a little idea of what hes like. Basically he plays a melody on his violin into a sampler, which then loops that sampled part he played, and then he plays OVER that, and sings. It was extremely cool.

The Mountain Goats played a lot of cool songs off their new album, many of which I enjoyed. John is so fantastic on stage, really. I could really get romantic here about what makes him great, but I'll refrain.

I have infinite homework to get done. It kind of sucks but I guess its nice that I'm not doing *anything* on a Saturday night so I can at least get some of it done. Sub-Saharan Africa has been kicking my ass lately only because I've had difficultly finishing my papers on time mostly due to a lack of interest. Yes Lacy, I've read "Heart of Darkness", I read it four years ago, I don't want to read it again. =( One thing I've been most impressed with myself about is my attendance. I've been going to class? Wtf I know, crazy!

I don't think I'll be able to attend class next semester because of Financial Aid, I'll have to work to pay off this semester on my own (or get a little help from hollywood, which should theoretically happen) which should be just fine. Either way, school is going fine.

This girl Arielle and I have kept up the chatting, which is a good sign! I'm pretty bad at these early stages of what could become a relationship, I'm in her words "A ball of nervous energy" which describes me pretty well. I swear I read every message I send to her 10 times to make certain it is up to my inteligent standards and so forth. Sure, that makes me sound crazy, but really, I just don't want to fuck this up. The last three 'crushes' I've had I feel like I've goofed it somewhere, and ended up blaming myself. Arielle is really cool, and I'd hate to say something stupid or come off as a jerk randomly. Not that I would do either of those things, but the mind is a dangerous thing...

Anywho, I'm off for now,

-John

---

The Fuck

I drilled you like your
blood was oil. Those slender
fingers - pierce me with your
nails again.

Although I had penetrated you,
your eyes remained the same open stance.
Nothing was peaceful, it was not one of
those "emotional fucks" No,

it was less the meeting of our
eyes than the mutilation of
mechanism. The clockwork piercing
of flesh, the bleeding from my back,

the way you gasped for air guiding
my hands to your neck. This was visceral,
the dragging of my genitals through the mud;
my mind had never been so far from sex.