But - what if they like it, and lock us in a cannery with your accordion until we canned our love?

Oh today...today...

I think I let everyone stress me out too much about relationships. The notions of others, and the advice of others is not valuable nor does it really pertain to my own relationships. There are no rules, repeat after me, there are no rules.

After working on a manuscript of poetry literally all day I found myself being asked to leave by my brother (I believe the term is 'sexiled' as I've heard) and it got me thinking to an extent. Either way, I had asked a couple people when it was appropriate to call a girl for the 2nd date. Most people were like "man you gotta make her wait for it, like 3-5 days or something" and some people said I should wait till she calls ME. My brother's GF Jaquie was just laying down on our couch, and George mentioned my issue in passing, and she looked at me stone face and basically said "who fucking cares, just call her, whats the worst that could happen." *shrug* Ya got me.

So I took the bus downtown, and gave her a call on my way, and much to my pleasure she had no plans for the evening. I had left my wallet at home accidentally, so I had the bright idea of playing some board games over at Netherworld with her. Hapily she accepted and I introduced her to a Madison + John + Nicole favorite - Lost Cities. This game isn't really the most skill intensive, its not really the 'best' game I've ever played, but it was simple enough for a date and I knew that it'd be enjoyable to play over conversation for certain. Also, the game is pretty non-interactive so it wouldn't be too...comeptitive? Either way it was totally fun, she met Jim and BK, and they were really nice to her which was really my only concern in takinger to the card store - crazy people! ;D We went for a walk, and we kissed outside her apartment before I said goodbye.

Since then I've finished off my TCG player article, been tempted to watch the movie Death Race 2000 (I'm reserving it for Arielle and myself) and walked over to the gas station for some snacks (ramen and soda, whoo!) Now I plan on sleeping and whatnot, tomorrow Arielle and I may be seeing a movie after my classes, but otherwise I'm doing nothing. Hopefully my TCG player money comes through so I can forward it through paypal. A little short right now! :|

I've started playing Starcraft again for fun, I'm 11-2 D+ after playing for a couple hours tonight, which I'm pretty happy about being kind of rusty. I'm still crappy as ever against Zerg, but hopefully that will improve for real this time. I made a vod that you can see here -

http://www.xfire.com/video/186208/

So I've cleaned up my life I guess. Not even a year ago I didn't have a job nor was I in class, but really after it was all said and done, I rose to the challenge, and I'm ready to put the final nail in the coffin of my depression, and move on. My dental hygiene common sense completely failed me for about a year, and because of it I now have some pretty gross front teeth. Drinking a twelve pack of soda and brushing once a week will do that to you, and because of it my teeth look abysmal. Most people don't notice the extent to which the caps of my front teeth are decayed largely because I am very aggressive about the manner in which my lips move to mask it, but its there, and I know it. Its my one qualm about dating, that people will judge me so harshly on it, so I do everything I can to hide it. I'm embarrassed of it, but I have a dental appointment coming up that will put that final memoir of what was easily the worst point in my life away. I've never been more excited. I'm in school, and in half a year I'll be living the life (hopefully!) and i've worked so hard to get where I am. A job, school, etc. My father and mother both abandoned me in Madison, but I have pushed myself. I feel great, and with this final move to brighten my future I'll finally be at peace with my emotions. That distiction, the feeling of failure, the lack of creativity that felt so painful, the worries of death, everything, all gone. Life is good.

Life is really good... =)

-John