A Fearless Inventory
Laying on top of her back
it was in moments like these
that I am terrified. Those sharp
beating steps of my heart thumping
at her shoulder blade. My lips
are a softer flesh, like any flesh
demanding friction.
I am terrified of telling
someone over the phone that
I will not come and see you because
it is not convenient for me, and no
matter how much I tell you I still
like you I can't bring myself to
walk a third of a mile to make you smile.
I will decline to explain to my roommate
or to anyone else that the sickness that
was given to me is terrifying, or that
it rots me from the inside like termites
and eventually I will be nothing if I
cannot control myself.
I am terrified that "She" will fail,
that no one cares about she, or her,
and although I never say the names
of you in my work, you will be lost
forever in encrypted layers of data
attached to a five year old computer.
If my memory and knowledge are my
most important things, then I am
terrified of losing them. A sickness,
this Alzheimer's or dementia, I am
losing my mind considering it.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Am I just a lightning rod, or am I still breathing?
Hi blog.
Life has been oh so fun lately! And by oh so fun, I pretty much feel like killing myself right in this current moment. But what could be afflicting me so? You, reader, will never know.
The last few days have gone by pretty quickly. I don't make many plans for the coming week as my magical cards schedule is quite devoid of much activity at all. Either way, yesterday was Madison's birthday so we went out to TGI fridays. Madison is 21 so he had a lot too much to drink. I enjoyed my mediocre burger of sorts while mostly shooting the shit with Nicole and Madison the whole time.
The day prior involved going over to Sarah's to watch a couple movies of the Starwars trilogy, drink beer, and hang out with her immobile roommate Chris, who broke his leg. It was really entertaining rewatching Starwars (hadn't seen them in some time) and then we basically slept and spent the entire next day in bed, which was pretty awesome.
Gotta pay rent tomorrow, have to do the dishes. Sarah and I have plans on Tuesday which is fun.
Life has been oh so fun lately! And by oh so fun, I pretty much feel like killing myself right in this current moment. But what could be afflicting me so? You, reader, will never know.
The last few days have gone by pretty quickly. I don't make many plans for the coming week as my magical cards schedule is quite devoid of much activity at all. Either way, yesterday was Madison's birthday so we went out to TGI fridays. Madison is 21 so he had a lot too much to drink. I enjoyed my mediocre burger of sorts while mostly shooting the shit with Nicole and Madison the whole time.
The day prior involved going over to Sarah's to watch a couple movies of the Starwars trilogy, drink beer, and hang out with her immobile roommate Chris, who broke his leg. It was really entertaining rewatching Starwars (hadn't seen them in some time) and then we basically slept and spent the entire next day in bed, which was pretty awesome.
Gotta pay rent tomorrow, have to do the dishes. Sarah and I have plans on Tuesday which is fun.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
