We would spend a lifetime trying to figure out, how to make, our hearts stop beating.

Today has been largely uninteresting, I slept till 11am or so, then got up and used George's computer since he was at class and wouldn't be using it, before deciding I should go down to MATC and deal with all my FA issues and make sure I was enrolled in my math class (I was on the wait list and have been too lazy to confirm my teacher's allowance of my classroom attendance) and after all that it was already two or so in the afternoon.  Katie never called me, and I would have left MATC in a second to hang out with her (I'd rather not spend the whole day alone, which is what we've discovered is going to happen) so here I am, stuck doing nothing.  And obviously, after ditching plans with me (she said she was going downtown, which I WOULD HAVE DONE WITH HER) shes going to hang out with Kyle tonight.  Worst part is she facebook messaged me insted of calling me to avoid conflict. lmfao. 

At Zoetrope things have been a little odd.  I consider myself a very good critical reviewer of poetry.  I am good at catching spelling/grammar issues, and I am excelent at comma/dash/period placement and I can usually give suggestions to people on the flow of their works.  These types of things are *so huge* to making poetry great, and it seems like all anyone has said to me in response is I'm being harsh.  When someone writes a cliche poem, I'll usually go ahead and tell them I found it slightly cliche, and give suggestions as to what specifically caused me to think that, etc.  Some people just seem to be looking for a pat on the ass, which I'm not in the buisiness of giving. :D

A Poem For Funerals

Drab lighting - her eyes vacant looking
to the ceiling.

Her weeping - her slender fingers
each a cigarette, a stick bug, or
boney repertoire of flesh.

There are empty rows,
and then there are full ones.
Her family had better not
waste their time.

For friends their faces
are no more important
than mine. The ones 
who would see such a girl,
at least.

And I'll drink myself to death, or at least, I'll drink myself to sleep. Chain-smoke my way through the gaps in between my aspirations and my apathy.

Good morning, cold and beatiful world.

I did not sleep last night, and I do not anticipate going to be at all today, as doing so would certainly gurentee a repeat of this sleep cycle I'm currently caught in, so I'll just have to man it out for a day being very tired. =)

I stayed up doing a lot of fun little things, for a few hours Madison and I worked on magic the gathering decks on magic workstation while talking about girls/friends/food.  We are good on paying the rent this month, and are doing so today once I go to the bank and get my paycheck, and george gives us his share.  Rent is 540$ a month, which is really not that bad in all honesty, and makes things pretty easy split three ways.   Once my FA comes, it will be extremely easy to pay.

After Madison went to bed, I did a load of poetry stuff (mostly writing, but a fair share of editing too) and reviewing/submitting my work on www.zoetrope.com - a nice little writers workshop website for adult minds.  Some of the writers who submit even go on to get published, and there is a nice read/review system to ensure all poet's works are reviewed by multiple other poets.  I submitted "Seattle to Chicago" because I feel like its one of the more enticing pieces I've written lately.  I feel like it really captures the ambiance of the train ride, of the solitute in the night time, and that feeling that we get as humans to be pulled away from slumber, and insted finding outselves staring at the stars.  It's a feeling I've often experiance, and one I've grown accustomed to, and even to love.  

Hanging out with Katie has gotten a lot less stressfull, which is nice.  We've been having a fair amount of fun just talking/hanging out, and last night she brought over a bunch of avacadoes and we made guac. with some lightly salted corn chips, which was rather declicious.

I had somewhat of a depressing conversation with Jaz on aim.  We weren't talking about anything relavent at all (I think it was a conversation about Shabazz, and her defence of it, though I wasn't making an argument against it, I just feel some people use it as a cop-out for easier schooling, where as others geniunely are against the judgemental environments of the standard school system, but I digress) but right before she left she said something about smoking cigarettes before sleeping.  I made some tick-tack sized comment about how smoking is bad for you, and we got into a mildly depressing "My life sucks" talk (her on the depressing side) and that its only getting worse for her, and its not like smoking matters at this point.  I was on the side of the fact that every step you can make towards improving your life is worthwhile, and even if the circumbstances don't permit, you can always tentatively improve your outlook, even with abusive parents, social problems, etc.  Regardless, it was a weird conversation, and I can't help but realize how fortunate I've been in life.  While my father is a drug addict of sorts (to emotional control pills, pain killers etc) I was never under the knowledge that he was a substance abuser, nor did I ever really have a "bad" childhood.  Sure, my father had some anger issues, but I was never abused by anyone physically or sexually, I've had two close friends all my life since I can remember, and have had decent relationships with women, never did anything illegal to the point where I got in trouble, was taught the value of books, education, and inteligence (somewhat on my own) and have had only great relationships with women.   At the end of it all, I feel *spoiled* which is a strange feeling to have, considering I've never thought of it like that, but in comparison to some people's lives who must feel like nothing has ever gone right for me, I feel lucky.  

I'm not sure how I'll spend today.  Likely, Im going to spend a fair share more time just lazing around the internet, doing not much of anything until someone calls me to hang out, or just to talk, in which case I'll oblige.  I'm not sure what anyone's plans are today, but its a sunday so I can imagine I'll find somthing to do.  If all else fails I can just bike/bus downtown and do a little window shopping/friending with randoms.  I could use a slice of mac n' cheese pizza in my life, m thinks.  

I spent a lot of time on my computer tonight optimizing it to run as fast as possible on its lowly 256MB of Ram, 40GB HD, shitty graphics card self, and I'm actually quite impressed with I've managed to get it to run.  Between using the lowest possible memory of each program I like to use respectively (AIM adhacked and downgraded in version, Firefox replaced for the browser Opera, using Foobar2000 as my media player, etc) and generally cleaning out all the bullshit that was around, the computer actually runs at a decent rate, and is a respectable machine for pretty much all the most basic of things.  Shapiro and I talked about this TI-83 calculator I own, and the possibilty of trading it for one of his old computers, which actually sounds like a decent trade, granted the computer isn't total dogshit, and I can potentially get the system disks to format it.  Its a 100GB HD, 2GB Ram, flatscreen monitor, the whole shabang machine for 100$ basically (the cost of the calculator) which is very reasonalbe, and would be a welcomed addition to our home, as I could upgrade for the time being while giving madison this computer, and allowing him to not be bored when George and I are both home!

I found a pretty sweet band over the course of the night.  They're named "Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains" and he/they are fucking *amazing*.  I've been listening to the only two CDs in existance, plus a live show of it and I can say it definately has that awesome Defiance, Ohio quality to it that Punk/Folk should, and at the same time is lyrically unique, and very fast paced, which I love.  The front-man of the band who is basically the whole band, started a new musical project called  The Wingnut Dishwasher's Union, which I havn't been able to find a torrent for as far as music is concerned, but hopefully I can without having to spent the whole 6$ to get their CD online. >.<  

Anywho, off to do more irrelavent things with my day! ;D

In secret we believe, we're nothing - nothing - nothing that we need~

Madison is snoring like a god damn mother fucking banshee, Jesus Christ. Additionally, I hate the taste of soda after brushing/mouth washing even if its several hours later, it just tastes like crap. (maybe thats a good thing, a preventative measure to keep people from devouring soda after brushing their teeth for the night!) In other random news, I did actually nothing today. I literally just did nothing. I had plans with two separate people and one came over around noon for like an hour or two then left (we didn't really do anything we planned on doing, we just hung out then I fell asleep randomly -_-) then I slept till 7pm, woke up and used my brothers computer for playing magic...thats it. Erykka and I were supposed to hang out but it turned out that we didn't. I'm not terrible upset about it or anything, I'm just a little anxious to see her, we have a lot of fun and it's somehow stress relieving for both me and her to be hanging out. Every time I don't see somone or talk to someone for a couple days when I've been somewhat involved with them, I always back track in my head everything I've ever said to them to make sure that I didn't fuck up somewhere along the line and now they hate me. It's the weirdest most obsessive compulsive and annoying little habbit I have about new friendships/etc.

I'm going to put some new poetry up tonight too, once I'm done editing it.

I feel sucky.

And have nothing clever to say about it.

No, you won't decide my heart.

Hello Blog.

Today was entirely uninteresting for the most part, let me catalog it.

I woke up at 9am, went to class (Earth Science) at 9:30am, which was about an hour long and relatively straight forward for a first class period. Syllabus, introductions and all, I was dressed up all cute and lovely, and explained the "What I want out of this class" question by describing that we should invent a shrink ray, and clone dinosaurs and make pocket sized stegosaurus for everyone to take home as pets. WTF? I'm awesome.

I went home via bike, and used the internet for 4 or so hours while eating ramen and talking to Katie via AIM. I did some homework type stuff that was posted up early for Earth Science, and did relatively nothing but play magic/SC online for like 3 1/2 hours.

I went to math, which was, as you can imagine, mathy. The teacher is from Texas and has an accent. The math class is devistatingly basic, though it should be an easy A, plus my friend Gerry Gilbert from shopko is sitting next to me so it should't be too bad.

Afterwards Collin La Fluer and I hung out waiting for Katie to get off work so we can go to Vientien Palace downtown. They have the best Lao-Thai food I've ever had and we split 3 plates of food between the five of us. Katrina came over to my house afterwards, and we hung out from 7pm to 1am or so. I'm so fucking confused by everything relationship wise right now, its totally unreal.

/end emo

In the parking lot of my apartment complex, I will be the first to force eye contact.

Good morning! It's 3am.

I have vastly too much energy right now. I might be because I've been brainstorming magical card decks with Madison all afternoon/evening so my brain is bustling with irrelavent creative thoughts, or because I've drank like 10 cans of soda in the last 4-5 hours, but whatever!

At about 5am yesterday I decided that getting up at 7:30am for 5 days a week was completely unrealistic to ask myself, so I opted to switch out my math for a Tu/Th math class twice a week! So now I have M/W/F/Sun off, and 1-2 classes on each other day. I like it a lot better than way, as having a full free day is a lot nicer than waking up obligatorily for 2 hours every day at 7:30am.

Anywho, in a couple hours I have a class at 9:30 AM, Earth Science (which as basic as it sounds, seems at least mildly interesting. It has some astronomy, and meteorology type of stuff in it which interests me)

At around midnight or so I was on the phone with Erykka and she said she wanted to hang out, so we met downtown at like 1am, biked back to my place and she spent the night. It was pretty fun, we mostly just listened to music and talked. =P

Today was mostly internetting and hanging out with Madison, George and Brandon though. Erykka left around 4 I think, so I was free all evening. I kinda wanted to go to this haunted sanitarium place with Madison, George, Brandon, Katie, and Kalen as a big group adventure, but it seemed like no one really wanted to go.

I think I might be hanging out with Katie tomorrow, which should be fun and whatnot. I have class for a decent portion of the day though, and I need to do some job hunting plus financial aid stuff, because appearently they fucked up the processing of my papers. -_-;;

out.

If you lose your chance you can take it from me -- 'cause winning luck comes so easily.

Hello!

Today is a boringish boring day of boringness. I ended up spending the night last night at Katrina's house, which was actually pretty fun. There weren't any supremely heavy moments or anything that made me want to gouge my own eyes out, and we mostly just talked and used her compy. In the morning we made waffles and then went back to bed for a couple hours.

So I guess today I wanted to hang out with Erykka but it appears as though she's hanging out with Jasper. I can't say I'm happy with how things are in my life right now. I really want to be with Erykka, I really do. She's fun, and really enjoys being around me (unless she's just an amazing liar) and I really really thing we'd be pretty happy dating and whatnot. It's just like, painful to see someone who I consider a friend actively choose against what would make them happy, and instead stay miserable. I just don't get it, maybe I'm too logical. I stress myself out thinking about it for virtually no reason. Or maybe I'm just too confident/arrogant, and I'm not all that great ;/ Regardless of anything I'm just going to be patient. Things have a way of working themselves out and at the very end of it all I'll still have a good friend no matter what.

MATC starts monday, at least. That should be moderately enjoyable.

She's more of a lady than I'll ever be.

Hiya world.

Things have been typically typical the last 24 or so hours. I spent most of last night playing Kingdom Hearts 2 on my brothers PS2 for about 5 hours, while periodically speaking with Erykka. Jasper and her are on rough terms, though I can't really understand how a relationship functionally turns into a hellhole like that. I mean, every time I've sensed negative feelings that can only be associated with incompatibility I generally just pull the plug. No one is perfect, but if you're fighting 24/7, c'mon.

Though I often criticize myself for being slightly too logical. I am a poet, after all I should be in tune with these feelings we feel. Typically, I've always had little to no difficultly with this girlfriend theft thing in the times I've tried, but Erykka is marginally more difficult to convince than the others.

Katrina wants me to visit her tonight. It's a strange feeling. Before when we were together and I asked her to stay at her house while her parents were out of town, she kicked me out and then invited Kyle over to hang out with her at 2am in her bedroom instead of me. WHILE WE WERE DATING. I haven't put full consideration into that, but ffs, I feel really hurt that she wants to see me over at her house as much as she does. It's in no way fair, really. I might still bail even though I told her I'd go. =/

Her little ice cream party was fun, even though I showed up late and didn't eat any ice cream (when I've just woken up, I dislike eating for a couple hours. My mouth feels slow and unwilling to consume for some reason.) I still had a decent time talking to everyone. I felt weird sitting next to Katie when all of her friends who I think know she's with Kyle were there, especially Becca, who hates me for some bizarre retarded reason. Honestly, I like Becca a lot, I think she's great and I'd probably go for her if she were single and didn't have a complete distain for me. I'm also pretty pleased she's with Kevin, though. They seem to get along great. He has a nice mix of quiet personality with fun and playful fun-poking that Becca seems to like.

A guy named Ross was there who I think I may have met at some point or another somewhere but don't really remember. He was really cool and I think I wouldn't mind hanging out with him at some point in the future. I'm not really sure. O_O;; He didn't seem terribly interested when I brought the idea up to him.

I think it bothers her that her name appears so frequently in my blog. But the other wants her name to appear in my blog as much as possible, because we're friends. Then there's the 5-10 people who I know and are friends of mine who read my blog that I are just confused by the fact that not only do they never appear in my blog, but I'm constantly talking about the same basic things over and over again. T_T;;

Benjamin (my best friend since 1st grade) and I have been talking on the phone a lot lately. The best part is - its about nothing in particular. We just sort of tealk and shoot the shit about video games, his GF, music, anything really. We've always been good at that; setting aside the inane awful details of our lives for a lively conversation consisting of nothing relevant. It's lovely.

I'm marginally stressed out. Yep.

---

Thin

Her bones were not how mine were

geometrically. Her joints were bound

loosely by small hemp ropes - by

needle and thread.

The sun sluiced through the blinds

over the desert of her hip. Her ribcage

a tall chasm; her flesh cracked and bruised

from the fists of that orange globe.

We tried not to kiss. Her blistered

lips had already enough of that.

I read your letter -- the one you left when you broke into my house.

I don't even know what to write about, but I want to update my blog.

Today I woke up a 1:45 to Butters using my face as a stepping ladder to reach the window sill in my room. We started opening the window in our bedroom now, so it is often room temperature instead of a hotbox. No idea why I didn't think to do that sooner. -_-;;

I called Erykka to see what she was up to for the day (embarrassingly, I almost feel like its getting to be slightly routine [I mean that loosely and nicely] that I call her when I wake up.) Did I just use parenthesis inside of parenthesis? I'm amazing. x]

I went out of George's computer and did some work on my poetry chapbook while waiting for him to get back from hanging out with Brandon. The three of us went to the mall together, which involved me getting new shoelaces and playing a couple rounds of DDR. TILT, the arcade at the mall is having a lock-in for 8$ to play unlimited arcade games, so I think George and I will go to that. It sounds like it will be very fun. We love our unlimited DDR more than anyone. At some point during that Erykka called me and said she wanted to hang out for a while, and we did. I picked up my bike at MATC on the way home and we hung out, talked, etc for a good two hours before she had to go have dinner with her parents. I walked her to the bus stop and waited with her until her bus showed up.

Since then, I've watched an episode of Dexter, and am now on a computer at truax MATC doing FAFSA related stuff while blogging. Largely, I feel pretty bored. The classes I'm taking don't particularly interest me, though I need to take them so I can take classes that do interest me. How boring. T_T

Here are some poems.

Cigarette Poem

We stretched our legs over the edge
of the balcony. It was hot.

The majority of the day was spent
alone, sleeping while the pillows

climbed to become clouds above us.They were soft shapes.

If I had only clouds to play with
as a child. (I was given wood blocks.)

My gums were bleeding.
She’s got quite a left hook.

As lanky and skinny as we both were
(Her more so, but virtually only by sex.)

it was easy to make each other bleed. I turned to her.

Pall Mall -- they all smelled the same.
Neither of us wanted to kiss.

---

The Truth About Geography

Terminally, on a hospital bed
I watched her eyes, morose with
the knowledge of death
roll over the flowered wall paper.

She ate too much. It's what
the doctors say. I don't know
that she did anything too much,
really.

She smoked too much. It's what
I would say then, watching the
tubes like roadways puncture
into the concrete of her skin.

The folds and flaps of wrinkled
tissue were then a valley like
those on television. A pixelated
tan Savannah - her skin.

And I wonder, what did they do with the bodies?

Things have been progressing as uneventful as they seem to be in day to day life, it seems.

I hung out with Erykka yesterday. We had a lot of fun just talking and hanging around my apartment. I admit I'm a little frustrated about her relationship situation, but I'm resilient and patient with people these days, more than I have been before (through no choice of my own, really) I really like Erykka, *alot* which is a strange feeling to be having at a time like this. There's something very interesting about her. Her mannerisms do not necessarily reflect much of her mood, so she's difficult to read (which is something I'm in no way accustomed to) and I feel like she's not used to just 'doing whatever she wants' when shes around me. I think that if we were to end up together we'd be in a nice relationship, especially for her, someone whos not used to having a guy like me around her.

I don't really know whats going on in my head right now. I'm confused, and honestly I'm just not positive of anything anymore. I wish something absolutely disastrous would happen, like a freak accident killing someone complicated in my life off, just like that. Poof, one less problem. Sometimes I wish I was a serial killer. -_-;; I also feel restricted in my own blog, which is something I don't really enjoy feeling in any way shape or form. I'm pretty open in general but these days I've found that I'm keeping more and more to myself, something I don't particularly like doing as I don't like to compartmentalize my feelings any more than a normal human being has to on a day to day basis.

I haven't wrote a poem in a couple days, though I don't feel like that necessarily a bad thing. Since when do us poets have to be shitting out poems every 2 hours anyway? I mean, sure, I'm capable of doing so pretty easily and have been my whole life. I hate the feeling of obligation with talent. Its rotten.

Overall though, I can't say I'm particularly depressed. Love interests or no, MATC things are going well, and I'm really pretty pleased with the direction the baseline of my life is taking. School starts very shortly, and I can't say I'm not happy about it. I need SOMETHING going on my life that isn't a myriad of fucked up relationships with a bunch of people. I swear sometimes my insane mother is the only sane one in my entire life. haha. Her wisdom really stuns me sometimes, its odd. She's almost always right when she talks about me or relationships, and I tell her very little if ANYTHING about them. Though she has asked for a picture of Erykka and I together, which is a very cute thing of her to do.

Erykka, Erykka, Erykka, Erykka, etc etc. Insert a bunch of romantic type nice things to say here with a dash of Jasper and some Katrina. *sigh*

I am the 'who' when you shout 'who's there?'

I am at the Memorial Union downtown for this post, as the last one, as I've been too lazy to convince Madison to call Charter/ATT for interwebz service at my house. Admittedly, one of the reasons I want the internet so badly is so that I can read Zoatrope.com and post there, and talk to Erykka on aim. I'm so shameless sometimes. O_O;;

I don't feel as though I've been unhappy lately, or upset about anything, really. I've just been enjoying my day to day life a lot. Last night after posting I ran around state street picking through some trash on the side while checking out various art stores for pins/patches and the like. It was very fun, I got a couple of nifty little conjunction-word pins from Pop Deluxe for 2$ which was nice. Afterwards George and I got Ian's Pizza (mac n cheese style, no less) and then got savagely caught in the rain because we decided to be lazy and just sit around for 15 minutes after eating pizza, which destroyed us. T_T

I was then at home, largely just watching movies (Nightmare before Christmas, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike back) and I was surprised to realize that I had never actually seen the Nightmare Before Christmas, which was amazing because I'm definitely one to be interested in the culture of people who typically like this movie, and because I've only really heard good things about it. I'm happy to say, regardless of the genre of human that enjoy this movie its quite good, and is definitely something I'm happy to have in my home. It's structured like a musically which is totally awesome because it just flows from scene to scene so well, while being catchy and enjoyable at the same time. I think I'll certainly torrent the soundtrack at some point once my computer situation is stable once again.

Kalen then came over and off to Super Walmart we went for a fun night of well...playing Buck Hunter Pro for 3 hours. It's getting a little tiresome as we have pretty much all the high scores in the entire game, and the only fun/difficult levels for us aren't really even that fun or difficult. But I can forsee us going there at least half a dozen more times before we call it quits. The people who work nights there even go "hey you guys playing Buck Hunter tonight?" FML.

I've gotten back on notebook journaling/poeting for the last couple days. Since I don't have access to a keyboard I've sort of just been rocking it the old fashion way which has been sub-par but vaguely enjoyable in that it feels very old-schooly. I can't say I'll keep it up once I get my comp, but I certainly transcribe some of them by date to whatever blog I'm using at the time. Additionally, much of the content is a bit too controversial to be posting around this time anyway ;)

George and I got smoothies the last two days from the smoothie lady. I swear to fucking god she needs a facebook group or something. She's completely amazing. O_O

Last night Erykka and I talked for a good two hours on the phone. I'm generally not one to spend long periods of time but for some reason it feels nice to talk to her, and we talk about largely interesting things so I hope she keeps calling me.

You may not have been able to determine this from the tone of the rest of my blog, but I'm feeling pretty down/terrible right now. I somewhat know why, and I somewhat don't. Just sort of weird feeling today. Happens to everyone I guess.

<3

Soon, my dear.

Life has been pretty fine going for the last week or so since I updated. Erykka and I have been hanging out a lot, which has been great. She makes me feel wonderful. There's something about having a quiet, skinny, and Asian (pacific islander?) girl to hang out with. She makes me feel appreciated, which is a lovely feeling to have. There's something nice about having someone who is quiet, and reserved (to some degree) and still very fun and great to hang out with. I'm unused to it, but its great. I hope we see each other more sometime soon.

My writing has been moving along has planned. I missed a contest mostly out of laziness plus not wanting to spend the 10$ to enter. I always do this to myself. I write and write and work on a manuscript very hard, then chicken out within the last couple of days for seemingly meaningless reasons. I wish someone would just kick my ass every time I did it. =P

My poetry has been satisfying me lately. It's peaceful, serene, and deep in ways that I feel I've been lacking. It's nice. I plan on updating with a few poems in the future, and potentially switching my blog provider to another. Blogspot is nice, but the interface for posting is a little awkward and I feel I'm probably going to code my own blog management system and URL it to a .com in the future, that way I'm just in more control over what is going on my blog.

Life is complicated, but nice. Like a spider's web.

She thinks I'm much too thin, she asks me if I'm sick...

yoyoyoyoyoyo

I'm in a pretty good mood. I spent the last 24ish hours with Erykka just hanging out / walking around / going out to the back patio periodically to watch her smoke a cigarette. It was fun, though the inside of our apartment is hot as *fuck*, we can't us the AC because it costs infinite $ so it was sweaty in general. Plus it didn't help I was hella nervous.

Either way George is moving in tomorrow, which is exciting in and of itself, and hopefully I can see Erykka again in the next couple days. Madison has a date with a hot black chick tonight, so I'll probably be hanging out with Kalen watching the 3rd season of Dexter on demand at a place he is supposedly house-sitting. It's a nice condo out in Menona, which sounds fun.

I need to get some money and head down to MATC in the next couple days in order to pick up my school books for the semester. Excitingly enough new school books is one of those guilty pleasures of mine, especially when the class has an actual piece of literature to offer me insted of just the standard text-book style books. I'm taking 4 classes (full time student baby!) and I really can't wait to get started. I have a dentist appointment in the next couple weeks (finally) and I can't wait to get some of these awful cavities out of my mouth. Sorry I drink too much soda world, but seriously, brushing your teeth every day should be enough to have the disaster that is my mouth never happen. >.< I'm pretty self concious about it as of late, I hardly ever smile like I used to, and can't wait to get back to big toothy smiles. =D

My father is coming up to see the apartment, which in and of itself is sort of scary. I really dislike seeing him in general as he's sort of a tyrant. But hey, I guess he *has* to see it if George really is moving out. Its funny that the apartment is directly across the street from our old house. They still even have the same blinds we used to have.

I saw Kyle at Copps today when I was with Erykka. It was pretty hilarious because its like, I don't even feel a distain for him when I see him, I feel like he thinks I'm just this creepy Ex-boyfriend that treated Katie like shit for 2 years and hes like liberating her from this awful relationship we were having (which is the opposite of true, honestly most girls would kill another human being to spend their life with someone like me it seems, and Katie had the happiest times of her life thus-far with me) so every time I see him now I just sort of try different scare/intimidation tactics just to fuck with him. Call it revenge, call it sadism, call it creepyness, its just harmless fun. >;]

Well I'm off

-John

Hypnotize

Hello blog.

Yesterday Madison and I moved into our new apartment which is totally rad and I'm EXTREMELY excited to have the place fully operational with tables...chairs...a Tv...etc. =(

Sure sure, its pretty empty now, but give it a month or two and it will be a pretty sweet pad, I'm sure of it! I'm going to ask Katrina to borrow her camera so I can take some pictures of it and post them. Its like one huge huge room with a kitchen, then a bedroom and a bathroom, but its rather spacious and nice. We need some curtains to hang in the front windows so we're not always exposed to the public.

As for everything else, George is moving in soon (saturday I believe) and he's bringing with him a bunch of cool furniture. Tables, chairs, TV etc. So the place will start looking more like a home and less like a box with a roof that we sleep at! Madison and I got into a huge argument about the bedroom and who gets it etc, so we ended up deciding to share it. My entire end of the argument was I had WAY more prospects to get laid than he does, so I should get the bedroom, and his argument is that his name was on the lease (even though we're paying equal amounts) lol.

Katrina and I are hanging out and making cinimon rolls tonight, which sounds delicious as hell, I havn't had a good cinimon roll in ages. =)

I was at the mall and I saw some cool stuff I wouldn't mind having so I could mod/bucher it. I need a new belt or two and a packback, plus I wanna save for some dermal anchors on my writst, so I have a few luxury items in my sights. I shouldn't have too much trouble being that I won't be spending any money on magic ^^;;

That is all o.o

The Living Dead

Today was a pretty sweet day.

Katrina and I had plans, so I woke up around 9:30 and gave her a call to wake her up. She was very sleepy and zombie like, and I suggested that maybe she should sleep another 30 minutes or so and then I'd come over after checking my email, doing w/e etc so she could sleep a little more. She agreed, then gave me a little sleepy, unaware 'I love you' which was really cute. She gave me a call back about 15 minutes later and since a phone call had woken her up, she wanted to go now. So I biked over and off we went to the farmer's market, a totally sweet event that happens wed/sats in Madison involving a market of farmers and delicious organic foods.

Last time we went she bought some cheese curds (which are fucking incredible) for us to eat, so I returned the favor this time around and after doing a little exploring and commenting of the various booths we sat down in the shade and enjoyed some delicious cheese curds, which was pretty awesome. We talked about lots of fun stuff, like our school schedules or how strange ostrich meat would be, which was pretty awesome. Last time we went we were a couple, so it was hard to walk around with her (and she wanted to hold hands!) and not be completely all over her all the time. But it was ok, and after we biked off to hang out with Alex Nelson for some QQs Asian buffet.

I was pretty full as it was still a bit early to eat for my liking, but Katrina and Alex devoured lots of asian oddities and lots of little cakes. o.o Afterwards Katrina and I hung out at Kalens for a while, we cuddled and took a small nap, and then she cut my hair which is something Im glad she can still do for me xD I'm so used to her cutting my hair idk if I'd feel comfortable having someone else do it. Plus I don't get to stare at anyone's pretty face half the time! =D

I decided to take a shift at work (because I should, not because I want to T_T) so while Katrina is at her play and Madison is at home probably doing nothing, Kalen and I will be slaving away doing nothing at Shopko. I work in electronics so it shouldn't be very stressful at all.

On a sidenote, I made Katrina a pretty sweet mixtape type consisting of largely old songs that I used to listen to all the time before I met her that I still think are pretty sweet. Since my old computer crashed I've been too lazy to recover them. These songs are totally rad though. Lots of my old favorites.

For now, a little Starcraft hopefully and then some work till 10pm. *sigh*

<3 John