.

it is 1am, and I feel quite strange.

I feel like I can't seem to handle my interactions with others with any finesse whatsoever, and really, all I can do is make things worse when I think to myself that I am a rational and intelligent person, though I am starting to have doubts about all of it.

Jasper sent me a relatively aggressive facebook message, and I replied with a relatively aggressive replay, then he was a tad more aggressive, then I just sort of stared at my computer wondering what to say. Why do I even care? I feel like I'm so above all of this, but yet drawn into the bullshit for no reason at all. I think I'm just quitting magic at this point. I tried talking to Erykka about what to do, but I clearly just irritated her (as she blocked me -.-) so here I am, out a solid hobby and a decent friend. But hey, things could be worse eh? I really don't know where I actually went wrong with all of it, maybe its just the random homewrecker/girlfriend stealing catching up with me, and its exactly what I deserve. I kind of wish I could be at least happy that now I don't have anything to worry about, now that there is a definitive close to all of this, but I find it difficult to do so. I always hope for things to end on happier terms, but as humans we are incapable.

---

Origami

I took your arms, and folded them back

by the elbows, snapping them back into

place parallel to her body. I pushed them

until your socket had snapped loose, and like wings

I tucked it behind your back.

Your legs were next. I'd make you my perfect

cardboard cut out crane, your legs snapped back

like that gorgeous bird.

I'd tell you to lie still as I worked,

my fingers rough with paper cuts - those tiny

remembrances of your resistance.

You tried to take flight, but you were

bound by the legs by to the Gampi tree I had

planted in my garden.