Hey, its been a couple days since I've been here.
Oh, nothing too exciting, just the usual depressed, generally unhappy John. You know, its pretty classic these days to be experiencing my own lame-ness in full effect, and I can't really say I deserve anything else. I'm working on getting a job, have a weird sort of writing gig going on at TCGPlayer, and am attending my classes as planned. It may not be the most interesting set of thigns in the world (though sometimes I wish it were more interesting) but I'm getting it done.
I have no idea what to do about ms. Gray, I feel like such a dog whenever her and I talk. Its like, so absurdly difficult to just resist doing whatever she wants me to do, and the only way for me to not be completely destroyed in her wake is to avoid her whenever possible. I'm getting off her cellphone plan as my mom is buying me a pretty sweet cellphone to use on her plan, which is super nice of her. =O Not to mention having a tricked out cellphone sounds kinda fun. Considering I had little to no contact with Katie in the last week, never seeing her again should be easy, right?
Its sort of weird wearing clothes that don't have your own personal scent on them. Its like, I'm wearing this shirt that is my fathers and I can still vaguely smell the cigarette smoke in it. Like I'm putting on someone else's skin...creeeepppyyy.
It's hard to tell someone they've fucked up, especially when they don't even know what they've done to themselves. I've tried to explain how wonderful I am (and if you know me, I'm quite fabulous) and that you'll never have me back, and I'm a person whos intelligence, creativity and caring far surpasses that of most anyone else's, and certainly of her other friends. I hate that if I say I'll never see you again, within a year's time she'll be on my front porch crying, asking me to take her back. Or she'll be aggressively trying to contact me. These things I feel are unavoidable.
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